Margie Howell (verysensitive) wrote,
Margie Howell

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She always cracks me up!

Maxine's Spring Cleaning Tips

If you're not saying, "Ah! Spring!" but are saying, "Ah choo! Spring!" it may be because of dust mites. Dust mites are microscopic insects that can cause all kinds of health hazards. And let me state, for legal reasons, they are not "some kind of big fakey scam designed to cheat honest, hardworking people like me (except the hardworking part) out of their savings." Also, if anyone reading this has any pull with the Exterminator's Anti-Defamation League, let me know.

You can get rid of the mites and the dead bugs in the window sills and the dust on the ceiling fan blades with a good, thorough spring cleaning. You can also get rid of nagging debt by winning the lottery, which in my case is more likely than the cleaning.

If you're averse to doing the dirty work of making things clean, you could hire a service. First, you have to interview candidates, then you have to check references, then you have to buy a secret camera to monitor them. It's easier to just move.

The key to spring cleaning, then, is found in the name of the chore. It's spring. Go outside and enjoy the wide array of things you can't complain about indoors! And as a bonus, once you're outside you can't see the mites or the dead bugs or the ceiling fan blades, so why worry?
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